Monday, March 16, 2015

And That is the Question...

After sharing about how Our Love Story Began and telling you all about Our Next Big Step I thought I would share some more about mine and Jarr's relationship. I'm going to be honest, a lot of people might not agree with this post. That is perfectly fine, but I'm going to be honest with you and talk about something that can be considered controversial. After being together for almost 3 years and transferring colleges together to live in a very expensive college town Jarr and I decided to move in together. So for the last two years we have lived together and been roommates.

Some people will say this is wrong, that you shouldn't share a home together before you are married. I understand that, we both understand that. But I come from a divorced family, I have trust issues, A LOT of people in my family have been divorced. So, for me this has always been a logical step. I think that when you live with someone, whether they are your friend, significant other, or even family member, you learn so much about them.

Jarr and I seriously talked about moving in together after 2 years of being together when we were first moving schools. We decided not to for the first year because he didn't think his family would accept it. After that year we decided that it was a waste of money for us to not live together and that if we both wanted to marry the other person some day we should live together and make sure that we don't drive each other crazy.

After two years of living with Jarr I have learned a lot about him and about myself. I know that if I call him on my way home from work he will pick up the living room. I also know that he likes to clean the kitchen as soon as we are done eating our meal. I love the man to death but he will never make the bed in the mornings if he is the last person out of bed. These are little things I've learned but it always seems to be the little things that push you over the edge.

During our two years of living together we have also learned how to budget together, how to manage our household, and how to meal plan around our schedules. These are things that a lot of people learn in their first few years of marriage but it is also something that can break your relationship. Jarr and I have learned how to work together and be completely honest about our debt, bills, spending habits, and needs in a relationship. We have learned to be completely transparent with the other person and how to come to solutions for our problems together.

So while some people think that living together before you are married is a bad thing, I think that it is a great way to really get to know the person you potentially want to spend the rest of your life with. Jarr and I have had some giant blowouts sure, but we have learned how to work through them together. I know without a shadow of a doubt that Jarr is my forever and that no matter how much I drive him crazy or how bad I might neglect him he will always be there waiting for me to calm down my crazy. We have been through a lot in the last two years but living together has made us stronger then we ever were before.

During my adult life I have lived with 5 different people and by myself for an extended amount of time. If I had to choose again I would still pick living with Jarr before anyone else or living by myself. I think that's what being in a relationship is all about. We have learned how to do so much more then just coexist, we share our lives together and we don't want to murder each other on a regular basis for the most part. ;) Jarr and I are just like every other couple, we have our ups and downs but we have learned to work together as a team.

So it might be wrong or controversial but for us it was the right choice. What do you think about living together before marriage? Did you live with your spouse before you got married?


I'm linking up at these parties!

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